Introduction
Whether it’s a friend coping with the sudden loss of a spouse or a colleague whose mom recently passed, you can’t go wrong expressing heartfelt sentiments, like the ones listed below, along with an authentic and a personal memory or anecdote. But more importantly, there are some things you shouldn’t do.
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“Never write, ‘They’re in a better place and there’s no more pain,’” says Smith. “While you may feel this way, any phrase that brings attention to the death can produce more grief and sadness. You want your words to do the opposite, not highlighting the death but celebrating the life… just be sure to avoid writing things that could be upsetting or misinterpreted.”
Shirley Enebrad, an author and certified grief recovery specialist agrees. “Never make it about you and your experience with loss,” she says. “Focus on the griever and his or her feelings. Absolutely never say, “I know how you feel.” Additionally, it’s always best not to ask how you can help. “Do not ask them to contact you if they need anything,” Enebrad says.
Also, remember to send your sympathy card within the first couple of weeks. However, if you miss that opportunity, it’s never too late. In fact, it might have a positive impact on the grieving recipient who may feel like everyone has moved on while they’re still grappling with their loss.
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